i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
