Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
