Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
