its not stalking. its research.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
