It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
