shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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