Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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