I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize