Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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