with your own penis?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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