I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
