the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His hands were made for my vagina.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
