Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
