I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
