I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
