wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
