and you said cock pushups were impossible
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize