Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
