the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
accomplished twins. life is a go
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
