the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
