i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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