Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize