I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's never too late to be topless.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
