it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
this hospital has no fireball
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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