Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize