I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
