Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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