I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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