Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
