If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
