I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
