If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We named our party play list daddy issues
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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