let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
