last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
