You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
