Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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