haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
