I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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