WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
