I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize