You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
