When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize