YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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