he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
