garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
