The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
