I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
