Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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