But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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