Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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