I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize