remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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