I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize