Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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