The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
