wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
