3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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