Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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