Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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