And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize