ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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