Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
