I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am mentally ready for anal.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
