Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
