You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
