let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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