I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
