Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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