she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
