next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
