Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
