my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
