it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
