just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
