Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
