Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
