So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
