and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
