she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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